Thursday, March 29, 2012

I'm not being very good this week

It's official people. When my time comes I will be going to hell. I broke lent. I had done so well but then it all went terribly wrong and I had chocolate AND crisps. I have officially woken the Chocy-crisp beast that lives within me and now it's all I crave! Damn it!

It's been a bit of a mental and all over the place week. I think I may still be in recovery from the wedding celebrations at the weekend and also the sad passing of a really wonderful gent.

I have not been tracking the last couple of days and when I sat down this morning to fill in the tracker using hind sight, well, lets just say it didn't tell a happy story! My goodness did I do some eating!  That damn Chocy-crisp beast is going to be the death of me!

I haven't been out exercising at all this week. I really feel it, I'm not as cheerful or focused. Yesterday was the first bit of exercise that I have done since last Thursday. And to me it felt like a marathon! I was looking after my wonderful little nephew-in-law. He's 2. He's gorgeous (but I am incredibly biased) and he is, without a doubt, the funniest little person on the planet. You couldn't possibly be in bad form with him.  He can say loads of things like 'Oh Jesus' and 'Up-a-dasiy'. He also puts his hand up to his face and says 'Listen' so he can hear something. He's a tonic. Really lifts your spirits. How his mother and father have the energy for him I will never know. He literally does not stop moving while he's awake. He's always running and dancing and talking. So as he ran and danced and talked I was trotting after him. I honestly feel like it was a workout and a half. I had to have a little nap when I was off duty!

So this weekend is approaching and I am looking forward to it. Nothing to do but sit and relax and watch all the programmes I have missed out on, do a bit of running, maybe a bit of golfing and not have a drop of alcohol or enter into a pub or night club. I cannot wait!

All I have to do is figure out a way to silence that Chocy-crisp beast and I'll be laughing!

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Verdict

This week was excellent for me I was down 2.5lb

But there's also been some very sad news about a wonderful guy that has passed away so perhaps a happier entry next week.

Mental illness awareness needs to be dealt with openly and without worry of shame or embarrassment. It's the only way to deal with the issue. Making sure no one ever feels that it's a taboo. It's the only way to help prevent suicide and the loss of wonderful people that are loved dearly and see no other way to deal with their pain.

Rest in peace Screech. Your a massive loss to all that knew you and for all the good you were made to do in this world. I hope you have found the peace this world couldn't give you.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Thought of the Day

Today's thought comes from an article on WP Social Reader on Face book called Ten Human Body Myths That You Probably Believe. Below is one of the facts regarding late night eating....

Eating at night makes you fat

Let’s get this straight: A calorie is a calorie, and calories don’t watch the clock and turn into villains of the night after 6 p.m. You get fat by taking in more calories than you burn, so Krispy Kremes at night are no worse than Krispy Kremes in the morning. What does tend to happen is that people who wait to eat until late evening when they’re super hungry, or are mindlessly snacking on the sofa, consume more. If you eat a huge meal and then lie down to sleep, you may find it hard to drift off, but that’s about it.

I don't know about you, but this makes me happy! Now I can take my time eating my dinner at 7pm!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

My feelings the day after 'Soul Crusher' day

I woke up this morning with a bit more of a positive head on me. All I can say is thank God for Lent because if it wasn't for Lent I would have went on the most unholy of binges you have ever seen. I was so tempted to buy one of every type of crisp, chocolate and fizzy jelly and sit on my bed and just keep going till I exploded. But, as I said, I have my Lenten Sacrifice to be thinking of, so no major damage done. And in hind sight, Himself would have been quite annoyed at the mess my exploded guts would have made.

Another reason for the positive little head on me is because after the disaster that was my weigh in, I had to go shopping for food for the week and I met a friend that I haven't seen in a number of weeks and she was more than complimentary about the weight I've lost. So that sort of helped. A lot. I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I am an ego-maniac. Compliments and flattery will literally get you everywhere with me. I can absolutely be won over by comments like 'you look amaaaaaaaaazing today' or 'wow, those jeans are to die for on you' and 'you've such lovely hair'. Another one that works is 'your nails have gotten so long and strong'. I have a fickle heart really.

Today is a new day. I've decided to approach this week and my food the way I do everything. With unyielding control and obsessive organisation.

I've filled out my tracker for the week. I have literally put everything I am allowed to eat on that tracker and by jaysus nothing else will go in my mouth. It's all planned and there in black and white to see. No more than 26 ProPoints a day. If that soul crusher doesn't bend to my will next Monday, there will be hell to pay!

You know the saying, hell hath no fury like a weight watcher scorned!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Verdict

I am not impressed. Not in the slightest bit impressed. All my running and walking and, more importantly, puking and passing out didn't do me a blind bit of good this week.

Now, I do realise that it's not a full week since the last time I got up on that soul crusher (aka the scales) and I also realise that it was a different soul crusher that I was on last week. But nevertheless I am not a happy bunny!

The only thing that consoled me as my life flashed before my weak as a kitten body and I clung to the toilet willing myself through the next attack of the "hoof it ups" was the thought that it would be ok sure when I next get weighed I'll be about 15 stone lighter!

That was not the case. Up 1.5 feckin pounds! Eh WFT?

My leader says to me if I'm not back to eating correctly my body could be in shock. Now come here lads. How do people with eating disorders get skinny if that's the case? Not that I am encouraging or belittling anyone in that situation.

Anyway. I'm highly disgusted.

So back to the drawing board for this week. Up a feckin pound and a half! So I shall be trotting along the canal at lunch and malahide to portmarnock in the evenings this week. Do stop me and say hello if you see me panting past!

It's weigh day

Weigh Day is upon me once again. Yes I am aware that it was only Thursday the last time I got weighed. But I miss my usual weight watchers class and my wonderful leader so its back to the oul routine.

Oh my god what a weekend! Himself was away at a stag for the weekend, so I had planned a lovely girlie weekend of catching up with friends I haven't seen in a while. Going for a few drinks and even maybe a bite to eat. I had planned on cleaning the house, going to see my Grandmother and spending bank holiday Monday with my beautiful buns and their mam. (The buns are also known as Connor and Aaron, my little twins that I am godmother to)

It didn't quite work out that way.  Friday was to spent with an old friend. And it was lovely. We drank some wine and had a take away, which I haven't had in so long! It was nothing short of delightful. 

Disaster struck on Saturday morning. I was sick. Not just ill. I was so sick that I was pretty sure I had reached the end of my days. I thought that himself would come home from Blackpool a hungover mess to find me dead on the bathroom floor. I hadn't decided whether the getting sick or the pain would be the death of me. I spent the morning in a mental tug of war trying to decide whether to call a Doctor for medical help or a Priest to give me my last rites. So, I rang my Dad. While I am aware that he is neither a Doctor nor a Priest, when I am sick I always want my Dad. Yes, I do realise that I am nearly 30 years old and shouldn't be calling my Daddy when I'm in crisis, but what can you do. The poor man! There I am, sick as a small hospital ringing a man that is nearly 4 hours drive away from me! He didn't know what to do. I was crying, he was racking his brains as to who to call to come to my aid. He rang me nearly every hour on the hour to make sure that I was still alive! Nearly gave him a heart attack, and considering his past medical history, it could have been very likely!

Regardless. By about 3pm I stopped getting sick and passing out every time I drank a sup of water. And at 4pm I managed to hold down a slice of toast without the same happening. The pains in my stomach had abated and I was starting to feel normal once again. So I just went to bed and slept my little head off until 12pm the next day.

The things I learned on Saturday are:

  1. Apparently, your never too old to need your Dad, even if it is just some comforting words down the phone as you do your best impression of the exorcist before loosing consciousness on the bathroom floor.
  2. I hate being alone when I am sick and need constant reassurance that I will survive.
  3. I am slightly dramatic and hysterical when ill
  4. I have no hope, whatsoever, of surviving child birth. The pain I was in on Saturday resulted in a lot of the passing out. Apparently child birth is so painful there are no words so mothers just tell you that you 'forget the pain when you hold your child'. I am screwed.
On the plus side, all the up-chucking and lack of appetite for a good portion of the weekend should yield some happy results on the scales! Every cloud has a silver lining...

Friday, March 16, 2012

It's St. Patricks Weekend

Hurray for Saint Patrick's Weekend! Only in Ireland could a national day be a three day event involving booze, booze, chocolate and more booze! Yes. Tomorrow is the day that I can have a little break from my Lenten Sacrifice and indulge in a wee bit of chocolate / crisps / fizzy jellies. And I'm not going to lie, I am excited! I don't know what to have! Need to keep it in check though cause I don't won't himself coming back from a stag weekend to find his beloved in a chocolate induced coma on the sitting room floor surrounded by crunchie wrappers and the odd empty packet of haribo! I'm getting a sugar rush just thinking about it!

So in preparation for a booze soaked, chocolate filled celebratory weekend I went for a run last night. I was tired and emotional after a long day at work and a crappy oul drive home in traffic. The last thing I wanted to do was go trotting along the coast road from Malahide to Portmarnock. But I'm a peculiar one. I knew that himself was expecting me to say that I was too tired and I didn't want to go. So to prove him wrong, I went. And I did it. I ran there AND back.

I was in a heap. Couldn't catch my breath and thought I might actually puke. But I wouldn't stop, because the stubborn witch that I am wanted to prove to himself that I was able to do it. And I wouldn't mind, he was the one telling me that if I want to stop we can walk the rest! I'll show you, was my thinking. This is a piece of cake! I can do it - all the while willing the contents of my stomach to remain where they were!

When I got back to the car I thought my legs were going to go from under me and that I was about to pass out from too much oxygen getting to the brain because I was breathing so fast. And then, when we got back to the house! Oh Jesus, Mary and the  Carpenter! I couldn't get out of the car. My legs wouldn't go. I think that they were paralysed from pure fright! When they eventually started to move, trying to get them up the steps at the front of the house was like trying to lift a tonne of lead. There was no feeling in them at all. It took me nearly twenty minutes to get them back working properly!

All in all it was good preperation for the indulgent weekend that lies ahead! Now, if people could start sending chocolate my way it'd be greatly appreciated! All donations, large or small, will be excepted!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Helping make an informed food choice - Italian Style

I am so incredibly impressed by Milano's restaurant!

I try, as best I can and as much as my damn will power will let me, to checkout what I am going to eat before I get to a restaurant and then I don't have to look at the menu and be tempted by something I was not prepared to eat. So as I will be going to Milano's in the coming days I have been scoping out the website making my informed choice! And by heck is it informed.

Milano's actually have their nutritional values for their food on the website which is download-able. I am delighted with that! I know its still high in calories, cause its pizza and stuff, but at least I can make a good choice, in theory!

If you want to have a nose!

The Verdict

I had my weigh in FINALLY! Oh my god. It's been so hard to find a class that suits my busy hectic lifestyle (ahem). Oh how to squeeze in a weigh day when one is running and walking and seeing crappy wedding bands that cost too much for the level of their talent?

Anyway, managed to get to a class today and was extremely pleased with what happened. I am down 1.5lb. That's 8.5lb in total! All that extra moving about the place has really paid off!!

So this week the goal is to loose 2lb and achieve at least 5 hours exercise by Monday nights class!

The verdict this week?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Change of date for my weigh in

There was a slight change of plan for my weigh in yesterday. I couldn't attend my WW meeting because myself and himself had to go to view a possible band for "The Big Day". It was a giant waste of time to be totally honest. The band were quite expensive considering their talents. But not to worry it's one of them things where if you don't have a look, you just won't know. Back to the drawing board for that particular task!

So heading for a weigh in this evening. Here's hoping the extra day will have made a GIANT difference. It's funny how the closer I get to them damn scales the less confident I am in the efforts I made!

On another note, I would like to say a HUMGOUS congratulations to two of my WW buddies who received their first stone each last night at their weigh in. Delighted for them that all their hard work has paid off!!Well done ladies I'm dead proud of you both!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Thought of the day

Poking fun at it all

It's been a good week

It's weigh day tomorrow and I am hoping that all the goodness this week will pay off.  I tracked well, I exercised loads and am expecting losses galore - thank you very much!

I managed to do 7.3 hours of exercise this week. A combination of running, walking and Davina McCall's dvd's AND I went out for 9 holes of golf this morning which was amazing! I haven't played golf in over a year and I really don't know why! Himself was very good. Not only did he buy me new runners that are more suited to my running, he came out and played the 9 holes with me. Poor divil, he's a brilliant golfer and I, on the other hand, not so much! Needless to say there wasn't all that much a challenge for him. But I loved every second of it!

So next weeks plan?

I want to exercise a minimum of 45 minutes a day.
Track, track and more track.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The verdict

Well I got weighed last night. As I approached that scales I made my peace with all the nights out, dinners out, creamy sauces, cakes, wine and rubbish that I consumed. Someone once said "never regret something that once made you happy" that was the philosophy I was attempting to adopt!

I thought about all the times I meant to track and didn't. Thoughts of sitting on the couch and ignoring my trainers that were making muffled cries from inside my workout bag haunted my every step!

I hopped up on that scales with a knot in my stomach that I am pretty sure weighed about 6lb. I was greeted warmly by my leader with words of welcome back and We missed you ringing in my ears as I waited for the damage to appear on screen!

Bam! In the four weeks since I'd stood on my old nemeses, I hadn't gained a pound or lost one either! I was exactly the same!

Delighted doesn't cover it! For many reasons, the main being, of course, that I am not starting all over again! But also that obviously on some subconscious level I am working the programme without realising it!

So the verdict? It's a good outcome and given me the boost I need to face this week. If I had went to they class last week I honestly believe that whatever the scales said would have discouraged me thoroughly!

So this weeks plan?

Stick to my points
Track, track, track
A minimum of 7 hours exercise
At least 2 litres of water a day

Here's to a great week where ill be seeing less of myself on Monday!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Thought of the day

It's Weigh day

Courtesy of

It's weigh day.. Damn I wish I did more over the weekend! It's funny. I know my WW programme inside and out, upside and down. I could probably tell you the points value of most foods off the top of my head. But, when I don't attend a meeting and get weighed it all goes out the window. I know I should track, but I don't. I know I should weigh my foods, but I don't. It's something I really need to work on  because I won't be attending the classes all the time when I reach goal!!

Anyway. The weigh in is upon me. I have gone running and I've bounced about my sitting room to Davina McCall and her teams instructions. My legs are killing me, my arms are killing me. Walking is, once again, a HUGE effort and trying to sit down takes time and concentration. Must work out more often!!!

Wish me luck!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Massive achievement achieved

Ok, so it's probably not the biggest achievement in the world as far as most people are concerned. In fact I am pretty sure that I am the only one that will regard this as a massive achievement - I don't care I am going to boast!

This morning I ran 4.7km in 55 mins!

When I began my deflation I couldn't run for 1.3 mins without wanting to vomit and collapse in a sweating panting heap!

Today I made it to 55 mins without vomiting or collapsing in a sweaty heap.. Well perhaps the latter is a lie I am currently flaked out on my sitting room floor, my cold sitting room floor gasping for breath and water! My legs have that jelly like feeling and I'm pretty sure I've burst a lung and heart valve, or at the very least a vein in my forehead!

A pretty picture I do not paint, but regardless for the first time in about three weeks I feel really good about myself!

Yay for running and goals!

Now for a fry!! Only kidding!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Confidence is key..

I have come to realise in the last four weeks that confidence is key in loosing weight. The weight I have lost is not necessarily immediately noticeable to anyone, except me. And when I have looked in the mirror and seen the changes in myself or felt them in my clothes my confidence has grown and it has encouraged me to work harder.

Each time I set myself am exercise goal and achieved it I felt a million dollars. Just running any distance was like climbing Everest for me!

Now, as you know I've had a crap month of Feb and decided to write it off entirely. I haven't been to a weight watchers class, I haven't tracked and I haven't exercised.

So the result at the end of Fev beginning of March? Total loss of confidence in myself. And it's funny, I knew I didn't feel good about myself but couldn't figure out why.

I really never believed in all that "exercise makes you feel good" malarkey! Really, I thought it was a trick to make inactive people move!

I also can't believe the effect my own inner voice (coupled with a few choice words from others) can have on my success. My negative thoughts about me have knocked the socks off me!

But, now I realise what I have been doing wrong and the things that I need to do right to feel better, not just loose weight, but actually feel better again!

So tomorrow morning it's up and out for a run. Time to get back to positivity!

As the old proverb says a journey of a thousand miles starts with the smallest step!