Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Thought of the Day

The Weekly Verdict

I think the picture above speaks for itself, yes?  The weekly verdict is a good one. I got away with not doing anything by the skin of my teeth!! I haven't lost any weight but I haven't gained anything either, so happy days! I was so sure that when I got weighed she'd be taking my stone back from me!

On a sad note, I didn't get my paper clip for loosing a pound... well, when I say I didn't get it, I mean it wasn't given to me. So I stole it! Yep. Stole a reward for myself. I am using it as a visual to encourage me to behave while I am in mourning.  (It's OK, my leader said I could use it as a visual to keep me on track, but I had to give it back on Monday).

Yes, you heard me. In mourning. On Sunday myself and my Twinnie will be saying RIP twenties... Damn it I don't feel old enough to be turning 30! Although, this week, perhaps I do feel old enough. My joints are creaking and aching like those of an arthritic old woman of 90. I think it's my bodies way of telling me to lie down and drink some more wine.

I will be wearing my paper clip around my wrist this weekend as a reminder to eat well, drink less and try to creak around, i mean move around, more. Although I am particularly excited about a little trip to Keshk for my dinner on Friday, followed by a beautiful birthday dinner made by my Mama and my Papa on Sunday... I have requested roast beef, garlic potatoes and maybe I might even get a birthday Yorkshire pudding... I am also extremely hopeful that at some point over the weekend my Papa will light me a fire and make me his dreamy creamy mash potatoes (not necessarily at the same time)!!! Fingers are crossed!

I am under Doctors orders not to do any exercise this week. Yep.  A Doctor has actually told me that it is OK to sit down and do nothing. And you gotta do what your Doc tells you to do.  Why I hear you ask? Eh, well apparently the creaking and aching of the joints is not normal, even for someone that's nearly 30 and I may have a virus. Doing too much by way of exercise could lead to injury and my body my just need to rest a bit. We'll know more after there's blood tests taken.

I thought I was being very clever and pre-empted the need for blood tests. So I fasted last night. Woke up this morning and my stomach thought my throat had been slit.  I could literally feel my body going into famine mode. I sat in the Surgery waiting to be seen, all the while a harmonious tune emanating from my empty stomach. I'm pretty sure they could hear it at the bus stop. Which is across two roads and a car park! It was all for nought any way. The blood nurse wasn't there so I literally starved myself needlessly and when I left the surgery I fell on my breakfast like it had been 12 months since I last ate. (it was only 12 hours. I would be the worst anorexic in the world.)

I am going to do what I can to survive this weekend and am allowing myself the grace of gaining 2lb in the celebrations. That's the plan. Not to gain them, clearly, but this way I won't feel too poohy if I do, and I won't be afraid to face TSC on Monday when I get back from my family.

Monday, September 17, 2012

It's Weigh Day

It's weigh day. Damn Mondays! I'm totes not looking forward to this weigh in. Despite reaching my stone last week, I don't think it's going to go as well this week. Mainly because I haven't been exercising because of my stupid foot and because I was out on Saturday night.  And Saturday nights outing was still in full swing at 04.40am. Really really need to invest in a watch for myself so I can keep better track of time. And time spent drinking.

Yesterday was spent in a horror hangover. I was curled up on the couch wishing for sleep / death and water. Oh my god I've never felt so de-hydrated in all my life. Even today I'm still guzzling water to beat the band. Must be the popcorn I ate (not the pints of beer I drank).

Copious amounts were consumed but in fairness, it was all in aid of a great cause and in the memory of a wonderful man. So I won't beat myself up too badly when I hop down of TSC tonight.

This week was a fail in the "12 weeks to Glow" Challenge. Need to up my game.

This weekend is busy a one. My twenties expire in 5 days and 10 hours. So long twenties and hello thirties. I shall be doing a mild bit of celebrating with my twinnie so I imagine dehydration, sore joints and possible nausea will feature on the list of ailments for next weeks weigh day.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Reaching this Mile "Stone"

After getting my stone on Monday I started thinking about how far I have come on my weight loss journey and what I have learned along the way... (see the path above, that's my weight loss journey, all sunny and bright and what not.. ehm).  I decided that I would share what I have learned;

1.  I have a mild touch of the body dysmorphias

(Disclaimer!:  I am being dramatic here and in no way taking the Mikey out of anyone that suffers from this. I am aware that for some people this is extremely serious and makes them quite ill)

Why do I think this? Well you see.  In my minds eye, the stone I have lost is actually about 8 stone and, as a result, my figure bears an uncanny resemblance to that of Cheryl Cole's.  I am all waif like and bony. I have grown at least 4 inches. My hair is glossy and worth it. So while shopping, my minds eye keeps leaping to all dresses that are made for the waif like and bony types of this world.  Namely, Body-Con! So I went to purchase myself a lovely French Connection Body-Con dress. And this is where my minds eye gets most confused, thus confusing my own actual real eyes. When I tried on the dress, my minds I could not match the tall waif like bony image with the curvy not so tall image from my real eyes. So the French Connection dress was not as flattering in my real eyes as it was in my minds eye. Confusion kicked in, my minds eye thinks the dress has shrunk on the way to the dressing room or I have been attacked by invisible somethings that caused me to swell out and I have to battle to remind myself that loosing one stone does not a skeleton make!  "Take off that dress at once and go find yourself something more suitable" is what my real eyes say to the rest of... which brings me to my next lesson.

2.  Just because I can get it my size, doesn't mean I should

Yes. I realise this is a bit sizest of me. And I'm ok with that. All my comments apply directly to me.  More power to you if you are buying these dresses, like Body-Con dresses, and your in a "plus size" and your happy and confident with your look.

For me. Well. Lets just say that over the last couple of years I have wished to purchase a number of items that I thought would be lovely on me and, well, their not - thus teaching me that just beacuse it's in my size doesn't mean I should wear it...

(a) Jumpsuits - good lord. Height and width were not my friend here.

(b) Harem pants - No. Just no.

(c) Wet Look Leggings - eh where do I even begin with these bad boys... All wrong!

So the lesson learned here? Bring a friend when shopping and always ignore my minds eye. It's crazy.

3. Exercise is something I will always try to get out of.  Always.

It's true. As much as I am enjoying running. And as great as I feel after it, I will always try and find a reason not to go.  In fact, if I put as much energy into doing exercise as I do into avoiding it, suffice to say I'd be long deflated by now!

4. When I have a deadline I will sabotage it

I will. If I know that I have only a couple of weeks left to achieve my weight loss goal I will go to every length possible to sabotage it so that at last minute I am considering cabbage soup diets and Epsom salts (Epsom salts in the bath, not in the soup!) So how do I stop doing this? I don't actually know the answer to this.  I do know that short term goals seem to work better for me than long term ones so I am going with that and struggling to pull my hand off that damned self destruct button....

5. It's easier with support

It is a lot easier when you have support.  I am very lucky that himself and my family and friends are very supportive of me.  Living with someone who has a sweet tooth to rival your own combined with the sickening inability to ever put on weight can be difficult.  But, to his merit, he's stopped with the chocolate bars and biscuits in the evening and he's great at motivating me and getting me going when I have talked myself out of exercise and into chocolate.

The class I go to is also a great support.  It is lovely when people realise that someone is having a hard time and they all get in behind you and spur you on.  When you hear whats worked for people, and what doesn't work and how you can vent and laugh and, occasionally, have a cry, it makes it seem easier knowing that your not the only one struggling.

6. Compliments can be dangerous

I know. Who'd have thunk it? Well for me, they can be - but I still love getting them (its my ego, loves a good massage and will take it wherever she can  get it, compliment whore that she is). When I'm feeling good and people are telling me I'm looking good. Clothes are fitting me better and I'm contemplating Body-Con dresses, well, I take the foot off the pedal and start to think, sure look at me. Aren't I gorgeous and skinny (minds eye playing tricks).

7.  It's so much easier to put it on than get it off

Good lord but it is.  When I think of all the weeks I've huffed and puffed and nearly killed myself running and squatting and lunging about the place.  Only to have a couple (ehm) of glasses of wine and put on a pound. It's totes devastating! And its frustrating. But I've learned the weeks that happens just to get off the scales (and give it a kick) and then start a fresh. (but really, give it a kick and, if its a particularly bad result, stick your finger up at it while kicking it - and make sure your leader knows that the finger is aimed at the scales, not at her lovely self!)

8. Reward yourself, Go on! Your worth it!

I love presents. And spoiling myself. It's the ego. She's also a present whore. And when there's something I really want, instead of just getting it for me, I try and give myself the motivation to achieve it.  Doesn't always work mind, and in fairness, I am also quite partial to a bit of instant gratification so I could just cave and get it for myself anyway to 'cheer myself up'...

9. Chocolate is my Fr-enemy

It is. It really is.  While on one hand it cheers me up, it also fattens me up. I don't understand people that can just have one piece and leave the bar in the fridge. Why? Why do that? How? Every time I opened the fridge it would taunt me and then I'd just scoff it anyway. I read all the time that a square of chocolate a day is good for you.  But where can you buy a square? How are you supposed to just leave the bar there with one square gone and go back to it the next day and leave it again? Answers on a postcard to PO BOX, Square A Day, You Must Be Crazy I'll Eat It All....

and finally.. .lesson number 10

10. If you don't laugh at it, it'll never be fun

I really believe that if I didn't have a sense of humor about my weight, exercise and just in general I'd go crazy. Loosing this stone has been so difficult and such a long journey.  In fairness, it's been so long coming because of my own actions and the fact that I take two steps forward and six steps back, but I laugh about it a lot. I take the Mickey out of myself because I can and try to be realistic about it. Yes I do want to be deflated and have people shouting up the aisle at me "someone, for the love of god, give her a stew"! but I also want to have fun and go out and drink and eat chocolate and crisps and all that other stuff that is counter productive to weight loss but would make life so BORING!


Monday, September 10, 2012

The Weekly Verdict - Lost 14lb but got a Stone

Today is a very happy day. And it's been a loooooooooooooooooong time coming...

This little blue thing has made me the happiest lady in all of the land!

What, pray tell, is it? This is my stone to represent the 14lb that I have lost. And to think, I very nearly chickened out of going to WW tonight. And if I had, I wouldn't look like this...

When my lovely lovely leader Nicola told me that I was down 3lb, I was smiling. When she told me that meant I was getting my stone I did a jig, jumped up and down on the scales, let out a big scream and gave her a bear hug that could have cut off her air supply!

Last Monday I chickened out of going to my class because I hadn't had a very good week with my running and eating and tracking. I decided that if I went to my class and I was up it would discourage me so I would do my best this week and do well in my class tonight.  As it turned out, I didn't necessarily do as well as I could have. My lack of tracking really put me off. My over eating the wrong things put me off and I was just generally not feeling very confident in my efforts... Lets put it down to a lack of exercise hormones boosting my mood!

But last weeks exercise must have helped. And by last weeks exercise I am referring to the half marathon I did last Thursday evening.  I decided to run home from work.  And when I couldn't run any further I would walk the remainder. This is the walk I did:

That's right. Over 15k.  I ran for 9k and walked for 2k and then hobbled / wished I could crawl for the last 2k. I didn't quite make it all the way home.  I had to lie down on some grass about five minute walk from the house. I lay down. My legs seized. I couldn't go on. For two reasons:

  1. Literally, my legs had seized and could not move any further. I thought I was going to go into a cramp
  2. There's a really really big, fast and aggressive eh, Jack Russell, that lives on the road on the way to my house.  He chases you. He makes you run. He might bite you. I knew that if he chased me I couldn't run and he would eat me.
So I lay on the grass and waited for himself to come and get me. I was like a big red faced, fuzzy haired zombie rising from the earth and hobbling toward the car.  Himself was doubled over, roaring laughing at the state of me. I wanted to cry. He couldn't stop laughing at me.

While that walk clearly contributed to my wonderful weight loss, I shan't be doing it again in a hurry.  Think I may stick to building it up slowly rather than full on going for it and killing myself.

As a result of my half marathon I bruised my foot and have been hobbling around all weekend unable to really put much pressure on it so, in fact, it was counter-productive (that's my story and I am sticking to it!)... Back to the baby steps I have been taking and which have been serving me quite well!

In other news (equally as happy and exciting as my reaching a stone loss!); himself is a romantic little so and so I can tell you now! He instructed me to take a half day from work last Friday. I came home and I was instructed to get dolled up. He took me into town for a cheeky glass of wine of a Friday afternoon while the sun beamed down on us.  Then he took me for dinner on the MV Cill Airne on the quays and then, just when things couldn't get any more exciting he produced two tickets to see Nora Jones in the Grand Canal Theater (I know that's not the name but seriously, come on, how crap is the name The Bord Gais Energy Theater??). It was a lovely afternoon / evening!  

Here we are dining on the Liffey

All that was in aid of my birthday. There are only 13 days left of my twenties. It's actually happening. I am going to be 30. A real grown up. I'm handling it a lot better than I thought I would.  30 just seems so much older than I feel. But I'm OK with it because I'm going to be 30 and at the very least 1 stone lighter than I was on my 29th Birthday! Woop Woop..

Hmmm... what shall I reward myself with? I saw a beautiful french connection dress that I may just purchase for myself as a well done for loosing a stone / happy birthday to me / well done you did 15k in one go gift. (Completing 15k will be something I will not let go of. I will ALWAYS bring it up. Unless I do 16k, in which case it will replace what shall forever more be known as "The Great 15k Trot")

Whats the plan for the next stone?

There's 12 weeks until the 3 December. So I am signing myself up to loosing 1.5lb a week between now and then.  I have set up a running training programme on my iPhone and will get stuck into it and by the 3 December see what the outcome is!

Here's to this week being an equally big success!