Friday, September 14, 2012

Reaching this Mile "Stone"

After getting my stone on Monday I started thinking about how far I have come on my weight loss journey and what I have learned along the way... (see the path above, that's my weight loss journey, all sunny and bright and what not.. ehm).  I decided that I would share what I have learned;

1.  I have a mild touch of the body dysmorphias

(Disclaimer!:  I am being dramatic here and in no way taking the Mikey out of anyone that suffers from this. I am aware that for some people this is extremely serious and makes them quite ill)

Why do I think this? Well you see.  In my minds eye, the stone I have lost is actually about 8 stone and, as a result, my figure bears an uncanny resemblance to that of Cheryl Cole's.  I am all waif like and bony. I have grown at least 4 inches. My hair is glossy and worth it. So while shopping, my minds eye keeps leaping to all dresses that are made for the waif like and bony types of this world.  Namely, Body-Con! So I went to purchase myself a lovely French Connection Body-Con dress. And this is where my minds eye gets most confused, thus confusing my own actual real eyes. When I tried on the dress, my minds I could not match the tall waif like bony image with the curvy not so tall image from my real eyes. So the French Connection dress was not as flattering in my real eyes as it was in my minds eye. Confusion kicked in, my minds eye thinks the dress has shrunk on the way to the dressing room or I have been attacked by invisible somethings that caused me to swell out and I have to battle to remind myself that loosing one stone does not a skeleton make!  "Take off that dress at once and go find yourself something more suitable" is what my real eyes say to the rest of... which brings me to my next lesson.

2.  Just because I can get it my size, doesn't mean I should

Yes. I realise this is a bit sizest of me. And I'm ok with that. All my comments apply directly to me.  More power to you if you are buying these dresses, like Body-Con dresses, and your in a "plus size" and your happy and confident with your look.

For me. Well. Lets just say that over the last couple of years I have wished to purchase a number of items that I thought would be lovely on me and, well, their not - thus teaching me that just beacuse it's in my size doesn't mean I should wear it...

(a) Jumpsuits - good lord. Height and width were not my friend here.

(b) Harem pants - No. Just no.

(c) Wet Look Leggings - eh where do I even begin with these bad boys... All wrong!

So the lesson learned here? Bring a friend when shopping and always ignore my minds eye. It's crazy.

3. Exercise is something I will always try to get out of.  Always.

It's true. As much as I am enjoying running. And as great as I feel after it, I will always try and find a reason not to go.  In fact, if I put as much energy into doing exercise as I do into avoiding it, suffice to say I'd be long deflated by now!

4. When I have a deadline I will sabotage it

I will. If I know that I have only a couple of weeks left to achieve my weight loss goal I will go to every length possible to sabotage it so that at last minute I am considering cabbage soup diets and Epsom salts (Epsom salts in the bath, not in the soup!) So how do I stop doing this? I don't actually know the answer to this.  I do know that short term goals seem to work better for me than long term ones so I am going with that and struggling to pull my hand off that damned self destruct button....

5. It's easier with support

It is a lot easier when you have support.  I am very lucky that himself and my family and friends are very supportive of me.  Living with someone who has a sweet tooth to rival your own combined with the sickening inability to ever put on weight can be difficult.  But, to his merit, he's stopped with the chocolate bars and biscuits in the evening and he's great at motivating me and getting me going when I have talked myself out of exercise and into chocolate.

The class I go to is also a great support.  It is lovely when people realise that someone is having a hard time and they all get in behind you and spur you on.  When you hear whats worked for people, and what doesn't work and how you can vent and laugh and, occasionally, have a cry, it makes it seem easier knowing that your not the only one struggling.

6. Compliments can be dangerous

I know. Who'd have thunk it? Well for me, they can be - but I still love getting them (its my ego, loves a good massage and will take it wherever she can  get it, compliment whore that she is). When I'm feeling good and people are telling me I'm looking good. Clothes are fitting me better and I'm contemplating Body-Con dresses, well, I take the foot off the pedal and start to think, sure look at me. Aren't I gorgeous and skinny (minds eye playing tricks).

7.  It's so much easier to put it on than get it off

Good lord but it is.  When I think of all the weeks I've huffed and puffed and nearly killed myself running and squatting and lunging about the place.  Only to have a couple (ehm) of glasses of wine and put on a pound. It's totes devastating! And its frustrating. But I've learned the weeks that happens just to get off the scales (and give it a kick) and then start a fresh. (but really, give it a kick and, if its a particularly bad result, stick your finger up at it while kicking it - and make sure your leader knows that the finger is aimed at the scales, not at her lovely self!)

8. Reward yourself, Go on! Your worth it!

I love presents. And spoiling myself. It's the ego. She's also a present whore. And when there's something I really want, instead of just getting it for me, I try and give myself the motivation to achieve it.  Doesn't always work mind, and in fairness, I am also quite partial to a bit of instant gratification so I could just cave and get it for myself anyway to 'cheer myself up'...

9. Chocolate is my Fr-enemy

It is. It really is.  While on one hand it cheers me up, it also fattens me up. I don't understand people that can just have one piece and leave the bar in the fridge. Why? Why do that? How? Every time I opened the fridge it would taunt me and then I'd just scoff it anyway. I read all the time that a square of chocolate a day is good for you.  But where can you buy a square? How are you supposed to just leave the bar there with one square gone and go back to it the next day and leave it again? Answers on a postcard to PO BOX, Square A Day, You Must Be Crazy I'll Eat It All....

and finally.. .lesson number 10

10. If you don't laugh at it, it'll never be fun

I really believe that if I didn't have a sense of humor about my weight, exercise and just in general I'd go crazy. Loosing this stone has been so difficult and such a long journey.  In fairness, it's been so long coming because of my own actions and the fact that I take two steps forward and six steps back, but I laugh about it a lot. I take the Mickey out of myself because I can and try to be realistic about it. Yes I do want to be deflated and have people shouting up the aisle at me "someone, for the love of god, give her a stew"! but I also want to have fun and go out and drink and eat chocolate and crisps and all that other stuff that is counter productive to weight loss but would make life so BORING!


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