Where oh where is Rachel.... There she is

I have been so very bold. I haven't been updating my blog and I haven't been to a weight watchers class is three weeks. I am terrified of what the scales is going to tell me when I climb up on there with a knot the size of a basketball in my stomach - which I can hopefully blame for any weight gain!

I have been relatively ok. I did a good bit if exercising last week. Actually that motivation of mine paid a wee visit from Monday to about Wednesday and it resulted in awaking at 545 three mornings on the trot to squat, lunge and jog my way into the day! Also went for a wee jog and a walk so was feeling great.

On the flip side to this story of goodness, dedication and motivation I ate quite a few packs of Trebel crunch, had a boost, slice of carrot cake, Thai takeaway and a bottle and half of wine over the weekend. I didn't track and quite frankly, I could be blanking the vast majority of what i ate out of memory!!!

You would think that because my deadlines are getting closer I would be working harder! Alas, that is not the case! My foot is well and truly off the pedal and my finger is firmly placed on that bloody self destruct button I have mentioned in the past!

I'll be a bridesmaid in 8 weeks. I will be standing on an altar with three of most lovely sticks you ever laid eyes on! So you would think I'd be trying to run, lunge and squat my way into stickiness!

Then my deadline for dress shopping is upon me. It's this weekend. I'm not going to lie, I am very excited about it! But I haven't made enough effort and haven't achieved the goals that I wanted to by now! So I am a hit disappointed in myself.

Today I was going to go back to my WW class. I decided against going. 10% of that was fear of how bad things may be. 80% because I knew if I stayed at home i would be able to cook meals for the week and have lunch and dinner prepared and ready to go, no excuses for crap eating and not being able to exercise. And the final 10% because I wanted to go running and i wouldn't have been able to do all of those things going to the class.

I will go to my class this week at lunchtime.

So here's to regaining some momentum, putting the foot to the floor and making my ass boney in 8 weeks time!!!

News bulletin: B2B Motivation sighted in Malahide

Yes that's right My Motivation was sighted briefly in Malahide this evening. There is a flicker of hope she will return to me, but My Motivation is a fickle mistress and never there when I need her!

I need her to return to me pronto. In less than one week I am being fitted for a bridesmaid dress.

I am bridesmaid in less than 10 weeks!!!!

Should you see My Motivation tell her I'll meet her at the Baggot street bridge at 1pm tomorrow for a lunchtime run...

Lost, Have you seen this Bride to Be's Motivation?

Lost, Have you seen this Bride to Be's Motivation?

B2B's motivation was last seen somewhere between Good Friday and Easter Sunday. It is missing presumed hungover and it is essential it is found ASAP.

B2B's motivation was meant to meet B2B in malahide for a run and a date with Davina McCall super fit DVD.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of B2B's motivation please contact "Wedding is less than 50 weeks away, get off your arse, PO BOX, 0504"

It's weigh day... Damn that Chocolate Celebrating Bank Holiday Weekeend

So! It's weigh day. It's Tuesday. I've just had a four day weekend. I'm not entirely sure how this weigh in is gonna go! Here's hoping the 1 and 1/2 hours of squatting I took part in and the 3 hour round of golf will pay off and help me out. Because the 10 hour larger session on Saturday night is definitely not going to help me out, at all, whatsoever!

In 365 days I'll be.....

In exactly 365 days I will be completely deflated and dancing my first ever dance as Mrs McCarthy... I am so excited. I didn't think that I would be this excited with a year to go. I literally have butterflies in my stomach and every now and then I want to just squeak with delight.. imagine the state of me when there's no days to go!!! I'll be utterly unbearble!!! And, rather improtantnly, I'll need to change the name of my blog to 'Diary of a Deflated Mrs!!'

I woke up this morning and I was just smiling. Hopefully the next 365 days fly by in a whirl of exercise, healthy foods and MASSIVE losses (of the lb kind). I want people to look at me and say, "Jesus your fading away on us".. ideally the word "waif" will be thrown around willie nilly! I am not looking for much. I know that deep inside me there is a size 6 just waiting to get out and show off her boney bones in a healthy and toned manner that makes others envious.

At my waif like size six, I will not stand like a spaced out Moran having an internal argument with myself every time someone offers me a chocolate / biscuit / cake. I will automatically say, "No thank you, I enjoy crudites and hummus". Exercise will not be something I have to bribe myself into doing. I will leap from my bed at 5am and go for a run exclaiming "I just can't start my day without a run. If I don't go running my day is a mess"...

Clearly, in my mind, should I ever reach a size six, I will have no personality and be boring as hell... but the word waif will be used... a lot so maybe it's worth it.......

Thought of the day

Spot the difference

Eh I have a question! What genius named acne "teenage pimples"? Because who ever it was I'd like to meet them and give them a toe in the backside for telling blatant lies!

Here I am the wrong side of 29 and still getting the blasted things! For some peculiar reason this week has seen a wonderful break out which I can only assume is from the virtuous weekend I had (i.e. only one glass of wine, no take aways etc). I think it's all the badness from the drinking and eating out I've been doing for the last number of weeks making any appearance. My skin has gone into shock and decided to "cleanse" itself hence my teenage looking visage..

I can only assume the term teenage pimple was used in order to give hope to spotty faced youths that it wouldn't last forever. If only they knew!!

The Plan for Easter week

There's a HUGE bank holiday fast approaching me and I am working out a way of dealing with it. Staying to meeting today was a big help! Seeing what I could have for the "price" of one easter egg made me realise it's just not worth sinking into a chocolate induced coma!

Apparently the small Easter egg is 23 pro points, without the bars you get! Sure I could have a lovely big take away for that price! Or a crunchie, jellies, ice cream and McCoys flame grilled steak flavoured crisps!

Although when it comes to it, I'll probably have the egg! I do love my chocolate! (hence the need for deflation some might say).

So the plan is a simple one!

Eat 26 ProPoints a day
Earn 7 activity points per day
Save my 49 weekly points

That means at least half hour a day of moving my ass and eating LOADS of free foods!

I also have a massive motivation! My wonderful Bride to be (that isn't me) has set a date for ordering our bridesmaid dresses and I am excited! Yep! You heard me. I am actually excited to be trying on bridesmaid dresses! Not just because I'm expected to be excited! But because I can't wait to try them on!

Here's to losing 2lb this week!!

The weekly verdict

So here we are, another weigh in another half pound lighter! Oh yeah! I am down a total of 10lb and am offically fabulous at 5%!

I'm delighted considering the week I have had and the massive fall from the Lenten wagon! Obviously my thigh busting squat-tastic workouts with miss McCall helped a lot with that!

So all in all not a bad week!

Thought of the day

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Its weigh day

I can't believe we are back to weigh day again! The weeks are flying in!

As I may have mentioned, I wasnt exactly the exercise bunny I had intended to be since my last weigh in! Nor was I as well behaved! Barely tracked and I didn't just break lent, I smashed it like a kiddie raiding their piggy bank for money to buy sweets!

So I tried to make up for lost ground over the weekend! I was very well behaved- only one glass of vino all weekend! And I exercised for 3 hours over Saturday and Sunday.

I ran and squatted all my lack of commitment and control away! So much so that it hurts when I breathe, walk, lie on my stomach when I am sleeping, try to sit down and then, inevitably, try to stand up!

Here's hoping all this pain will mean a gain of a loss, if ya get me!

Autism Awareness Week Begins

Autism awareness week begins this week. It's a week where we can learn more about what Autism is and show our support for the people and families that live with it.

Perhaps we could all find out one fact about Autism and share it with one person.

Measurements

Since January I have lost the following inches...

waist lost 1 inch
hips lost 2 inches
bust lost 1.5 inches
arm Lost 0.5 inches
leg lost 1.5 inches

Woohoo!!!

I'm not being very good this week

It's official people. When my time comes I will be going to hell. I broke lent. I had done so well but then it all went terribly wrong and I had chocolate AND crisps. I have officially woken the Chocy-crisp beast that lives within me and now it's all I crave! Damn it!

It's been a bit of a mental and all over the place week. I think I may still be in recovery from the wedding celebrations at the weekend and also the sad passing of a really wonderful gent.

I have not been tracking the last couple of days and when I sat down this morning to fill in the tracker using hind sight, well, lets just say it didn't tell a happy story! My goodness did I do some eating!  That damn Chocy-crisp beast is going to be the death of me!

I haven't been out exercising at all this week. I really feel it, I'm not as cheerful or focused. Yesterday was the first bit of exercise that I have done since last Thursday. And to me it felt like a marathon! I was looking after my wonderful little nephew-in-law. He's 2. He's gorgeous (but I am incredibly biased) and he is, without a doubt, the funniest little person on the planet. You couldn't possibly be in bad form with him.  He can say loads of things like 'Oh Jesus' and 'Up-a-dasiy'. He also puts his hand up to his face and says 'Listen' so he can hear something. He's a tonic. Really lifts your spirits. How his mother and father have the energy for him I will never know. He literally does not stop moving while he's awake. He's always running and dancing and talking. So as he ran and danced and talked I was trotting after him. I honestly feel like it was a workout and a half. I had to have a little nap when I was off duty!

So this weekend is approaching and I am looking forward to it. Nothing to do but sit and relax and watch all the programmes I have missed out on, do a bit of running, maybe a bit of golfing and not have a drop of alcohol or enter into a pub or night club. I cannot wait!

All I have to do is figure out a way to silence that Chocy-crisp beast and I'll be laughing!

Thought of the day

The Verdict

This week was excellent for me I was down 2.5lb

But there's also been some very sad news about a wonderful guy that has passed away so perhaps a happier entry next week.

Mental illness awareness needs to be dealt with openly and without worry of shame or embarrassment. It's the only way to deal with the issue. Making sure no one ever feels that it's a taboo. It's the only way to help prevent suicide and the loss of wonderful people that are loved dearly and see no other way to deal with their pain.

Rest in peace Screech. Your a massive loss to all that knew you and for all the good you were made to do in this world. I hope you have found the peace this world couldn't give you.

Thought of the Day

Today's thought comes from an article on WP Social Reader on Face book called Ten Human Body Myths That You Probably Believe. Below is one of the facts regarding late night eating....

Eating at night makes you fat

Let’s get this straight: A calorie is a calorie, and calories don’t watch the clock and turn into villains of the night after 6 p.m. You get fat by taking in more calories than you burn, so Krispy Kremes at night are no worse than Krispy Kremes in the morning. What does tend to happen is that people who wait to eat until late evening when they’re super hungry, or are mindlessly snacking on the sofa, consume more. If you eat a huge meal and then lie down to sleep, you may find it hard to drift off, but that’s about it.


I don't know about you, but this makes me happy! Now I can take my time eating my dinner at 7pm!

My feelings the day after 'Soul Crusher' day

I woke up this morning with a bit more of a positive head on me. All I can say is thank God for Lent because if it wasn't for Lent I would have went on the most unholy of binges you have ever seen. I was so tempted to buy one of every type of crisp, chocolate and fizzy jelly and sit on my bed and just keep going till I exploded. But, as I said, I have my Lenten Sacrifice to be thinking of, so no major damage done. And in hind sight, Himself would have been quite annoyed at the mess my exploded guts would have made.

Another reason for the positive little head on me is because after the disaster that was my weigh in, I had to go shopping for food for the week and I met a friend that I haven't seen in a number of weeks and she was more than complimentary about the weight I've lost. So that sort of helped. A lot. I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I am an ego-maniac. Compliments and flattery will literally get you everywhere with me. I can absolutely be won over by comments like 'you look amaaaaaaaaazing today' or 'wow, those jeans are to die for on you' and 'you've such lovely hair'. Another one that works is 'your nails have gotten so long and strong'. I have a fickle heart really.

Today is a new day. I've decided to approach this week and my food the way I do everything. With unyielding control and obsessive organisation.

I've filled out my tracker for the week. I have literally put everything I am allowed to eat on that tracker and by jaysus nothing else will go in my mouth. It's all planned and there in black and white to see. No more than 26 ProPoints a day. If that soul crusher doesn't bend to my will next Monday, there will be hell to pay!

You know the saying, hell hath no fury like a weight watcher scorned!!!

The Verdict

I am not impressed. Not in the slightest bit impressed. All my running and walking and, more importantly, puking and passing out didn't do me a blind bit of good this week.

Now, I do realise that it's not a full week since the last time I got up on that soul crusher (aka the scales) and I also realise that it was a different soul crusher that I was on last week. But nevertheless I am not a happy bunny!

The only thing that consoled me as my life flashed before my weak as a kitten body and I clung to the toilet willing myself through the next attack of the "hoof it ups" was the thought that it would be ok sure when I next get weighed I'll be about 15 stone lighter!

That was not the case. Up 1.5 feckin pounds! Eh WFT?

My leader says to me if I'm not back to eating correctly my body could be in shock. Now come here lads. How do people with eating disorders get skinny if that's the case? Not that I am encouraging or belittling anyone in that situation.

Anyway. I'm highly disgusted.

So back to the drawing board for this week. Up a feckin pound and a half! So I shall be trotting along the canal at lunch and malahide to portmarnock in the evenings this week. Do stop me and say hello if you see me panting past!

It's weigh day

Weigh Day is upon me once again. Yes I am aware that it was only Thursday the last time I got weighed. But I miss my usual weight watchers class and my wonderful leader so its back to the oul routine.

Oh my god what a weekend! Himself was away at a stag for the weekend, so I had planned a lovely girlie weekend of catching up with friends I haven't seen in a while. Going for a few drinks and even maybe a bite to eat. I had planned on cleaning the house, going to see my Grandmother and spending bank holiday Monday with my beautiful buns and their mam. (The buns are also known as Connor and Aaron, my little twins that I am godmother to)

It didn't quite work out that way.  Friday was to spent with an old friend. And it was lovely. We drank some wine and had a take away, which I haven't had in so long! It was nothing short of delightful. 

Disaster struck on Saturday morning. I was sick. Not just ill. I was so sick that I was pretty sure I had reached the end of my days. I thought that himself would come home from Blackpool a hungover mess to find me dead on the bathroom floor. I hadn't decided whether the getting sick or the pain would be the death of me. I spent the morning in a mental tug of war trying to decide whether to call a Doctor for medical help or a Priest to give me my last rites. So, I rang my Dad. While I am aware that he is neither a Doctor nor a Priest, when I am sick I always want my Dad. Yes, I do realise that I am nearly 30 years old and shouldn't be calling my Daddy when I'm in crisis, but what can you do. The poor man! There I am, sick as a small hospital ringing a man that is nearly 4 hours drive away from me! He didn't know what to do. I was crying, he was racking his brains as to who to call to come to my aid. He rang me nearly every hour on the hour to make sure that I was still alive! Nearly gave him a heart attack, and considering his past medical history, it could have been very likely!

Regardless. By about 3pm I stopped getting sick and passing out every time I drank a sup of water. And at 4pm I managed to hold down a slice of toast without the same happening. The pains in my stomach had abated and I was starting to feel normal once again. So I just went to bed and slept my little head off until 12pm the next day.

The things I learned on Saturday are:

1. Apparently, your never too old to need your Dad, even if it is just some comforting words down the phone as you do your best impression of the exorcist before loosing consciousness on the bathroom floor.
2. I hate being alone when I am sick and need constant reassurance that I will survive.
3. I am slightly dramatic and hysterical when ill
4. I have no hope, whatsoever, of surviving child birth. The pain I was in on Saturday resulted in a lot of the passing out. Apparently child birth is so painful there are no words so mothers just tell you that you 'forget the pain when you hold your child'. I am screwed.

On the plus side, all the up-chucking and lack of appetite for a good portion of the weekend should yield some happy results on the scales! Every cloud has a silver lining...